A Partner's Loss

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Cody Furlong
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A Partner's Loss

Postby Cody Furlong » Tue Apr 18, 2017 9:11 am

This was a short angsty piece I did for a writing challenge some time ago.
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Title: A Partner's Loss
By: Cody Furlong

When conscious thought returned to me, it brought with it a raging storm of pure agony as it always did. Swallowed up in darkness I had no concept of time, my pain filled mind had lost track of how long I'd been held captive by my tormentor. Had it been days, or weeks since I'd been brought here? It felt like years to me, my time spent in agony, wishing I could just die and end the suffering I couldn't see, but certainly feel being done to my body.

The rotting musk of the swamp clogged my nostrils further hindering my breathing, I could hear each breath wheezing up out of my chest. I could feel my naked, damaged body stretched out taut on the perceptually cold and hard metal table that had become my bed. I couldn't feel the vines clamped around my wrists and ankles like iron though. My body burned, it burned like nothing anyone could describe save for being dumped into a wood chipper, or the sun perhaps.

Even now I could still feel the ghosts of his 'equipment' prodding, drilling and cutting, into my body, still fell the blazing pain of fur and flesh ripping away. Even though I could no longer see it, I knew that snake had a smile on that slimy muzzle of his the entire time. I already new I was going to die here. That mutant was slowly killing me with his experiments, and taking various samples from my body.

I felt a little bit more of me slip away each time he was here, each time that my suffering was renewed. I'd already given up trying to get free, I didn't have the strength for it anymore, all I could do was lay here in this world of blackness and suffering. Briefly the thought of my partner crossed my mind, like a balm to my wounds it made the pain go away, if even for a second.

Some part of me, though I couldn't tell which, knew that he was the only thing keeping me going, the thought that he'd come to save me the only hope I had left. I knew that if there was anyone that would be able to find me it would be him. Half of me clinged to that hope with all the strength I had left, like a life raft to a sinking ship, the other half of me though didn't want him to come.

I didn't want him to see his once proud, strong partner like this, broken, battered and unable to see, I knew that the chances of me ever flying again were little to none. Even if my body could be healed, my sight restored, what had been done to me mentally couldn't. I couldn't even begin to think about how my partner would react knowing I could never be a Swat Kat again, one more reason I hoped he wouldn't come for me....

What was that? I'm suddenly brought out of my shattered thoughts by what I thought was an explosion. Flicking my ears around I try and pin point the sound. Had I really heard it, or had I just imagined it? No, a second muffled thump confirms it, he's here, my partner had come for me.

The fact that the end was so close filled me with mixed emotions, I was glad to be certain, but again filled with dread at how he would react when he saw me like this. No mater what would happen all I could do was listen to the faded sounds of the fight coming from the next room, to weak and afraid to even try to call out for him, to let him know where I was.

As the roars of creatures, beats the samples taken from my body had no doubt had helped to create, and the sounds of a firing Gloveatrix filled my ears, all I could do was hope and pray that he'd be alright, that Viper wouldn't get his smiley claws on him too. I had no idea if that mutant snake was even here or not, he had been gone for quite a long time it seemed, though I had no idea how long I'd really been unconscious for to know for sure.

Finally after what seemed like hours to my darkened senses the sounds of battle began to die down and was replaced by a new sound. My partner was calling for me, calling out my name as loud as he could, his voice sounded like a bell, clear and strong, tolling that my ordeal was finally over.

Despite the pain it caused me, I called out for him too, my voice was nearly gone though from all the screaming I'd done, my throat raw and parched from not having been given anything to drink since my capture. My voice was so weak and soft, so unlike how it should have sounded I didn't even recognize it as my own, and didn't think that he would've heard it either.

But by some miracle he had, the sounds of his calling grew louder to me, my heart pounded in my chest as I urged him on with all the spirit I had left. At last I could make out his foot steeps he was in the lab with me, running up to me. I didn't need to see his face with my eyes, the muffled gasp of shock, sadness, and fear painted his expression across my mind clearly.

“Take it easy buddy, I have you now, I'll get you to the hospital, you'll be alright you hear me. I swear if I ever find that snake, I'm going to kill him for what he did to you!” His voice is music to my ears, despite the anger in it towards my tormentor, and I know I manage a smile before slipping back into blissful unconsciousness once more.

END
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You search and search for something, never realizing it is within and always has been. You can not find it, you can not understand it, you simply accept, and believe, and it will grow.
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Re: A Partner's Loss

Postby MoDaD » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:17 pm

Some very Kafka-ish elements in this. I couldn't help but give this a very quick proof and edit, which you can use at your own discretion.

Quick Edit

Great start! With some fine-tuning this should make for a good one-off inner monologue. It could be an element in a larger story, too. The overall scene makes for a good face value struggle, though, one could also infer some underlying thematic elements as well.
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Re: A Partner's Loss

Postby Kooshmeister » Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:50 pm

Looking good so far!
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Re: A Partner's Loss

Postby Mikazo » Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:37 pm

I thought it was well-written and descriptive. Graphic though too! Do you post any fanworks anywhere, like fanfiction.net or AO3 or anything like that?
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Re: A Partner's Loss

Postby Cody Furlong » Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:16 am

Mikazo wrote:I thought it was well-written and descriptive. Graphic though too! Do you post any fanworks anywhere, like fanfiction.net or AO3 or anything like that?


I am on fanffiction.net, and my stories should be up on my furaffinity too.

MoDaD wrote:Some very Kafka-ish elements in this. I couldn't help but give this a very quick proof and edit, which you can use at your own discretion.

Great start! With some fine-tuning this should make for a good one-off inner monologue. It could be an element in a larger story, too. The overall scene makes for a good face value struggle, though, one could also infer some underlying thematic elements as well.


Thanks! I don't write first person very often, I'll definitely look over your edit of it.
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You search and search for something, never realizing it is within and always has been. You can not find it, you can not understand it, you simply accept, and believe, and it will grow.
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Re: A Partner's Loss

Postby GeminiGenie » Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:35 pm

Image

This is the best thing I've read in a long time. T.T I'm assuming it was T-Bone who was captured. Great work! I misted up reading this.
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