Razor's Edge: Fan Script

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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by marklungo » Sun Aug 29, 2021 9:17 pm

P.S. Typo:
it was still mostly Hard Drive's faukt.
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by EditorElohim » Sun Aug 29, 2021 11:23 pm

The rewrite of this chapter is quite interesting. The young couple as "witnesses" thing makes a lot more sense than the fake old couple, although I still wonder why the Enforcers didn't look for more witnesses. I agree also with NightSlayer2 that Callie and Manx, but especially Callie, should have had a bigger role in the original chapter instead of leaving the job to Felina alone.

I'm glad T-Bone didn't hurt Callie...or vice versa when they met in the warehouse. On the other hand, Chance sometimes sounds a bit...insensitive when he talks about the fatalities, but I doubt he means it that way; he just takes it on better than Jake.

Anyway; that's about it. You're doing great: congratulations. RazorHappyCait
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Mon Aug 30, 2021 12:24 pm

NightSlayer2 wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 6:57 pm
I’m surprised that Mills is sticking up for the SWAT Kats. I thought he hated them.
If you're referring to the way he acted in The End of the SWAT Kats!, he was mostly doing that under pressure from Manx. Mills' attitude towards the SWAT Kats is one of indifference. He considers them criminals, but not ones who are threats.
NightSlayer2 wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 6:57 pm
And yeah, I always thought that Manx and Callie should’ve appeared in that episode. I thought season 2 was mostly focused on Feral and Felina while season 1 focused more on Manx and Callie.
Yeah, I included Callie because as I was starting this it suddenly occurred to me it was weird that she didn't appear in an episode focused on the SWAT Kats being framed (again). Manx appears because I like writing him and so he can (again) put pressure on Mills to arrest the SWAT Kats (although it's Feral and not Manx who dislikes them, I've always written Manx as being ready and willing to throw T-Bone and Razor under the bus if he felt it would suit his career).
NightSlayer2 wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 6:57 pm
Is that elderly couple legit or no?
Yes. It's only the supposed eyewitnesses, Castorp and Ilsa, who are phony and in on it with Dark Kat. Mr. and Mrs. Clawver (as I've named the old couple) are entirely innocent in this version.
marklungo wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 9:16 pm
I'm wondering where his bouquet of flowers is, though. RazLaugh
Oops! Uh, um, they're stowed in the Cyclotron somewhere. Yeah, that's it. RazEmbarrassed
marklungo wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 9:17 pm
P.S. Typo:
it was still mostly Hard Drive's faukt.
Bah! TboneSwearCait

Fixed. RazorHappyCait
EditorElohim wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 11:23 pm
The young couple as "witnesses" thing makes a lot more sense than the fake old couple, although I still wonder why the Enforcers didn't look for more witnesses.
They probably are offscreen. But I don't wanna focus too much on the investigation, lest it derail the main plot too much. One plot thread I had considered but abandoned was that Felina would have the spider web goop analyzed and find out where the ingredients to make it were being shipped, and come upon Dark Kat's warehouse hideout, prior to him setting out in the new and improved Black Widow. I'm not sure where this would have led except possibly to a fight scene with the kommando-kats, so I never did anything with it. As much as I want to see those guys in more action scenes, I just couldn't quite think of how to squeeze this subplot in. If I can figure out a way to do so, I eventually will (likely what I'll do is have Felina show up, fight some of the kommando-kats, then call her uncle, and the Enforcers arrive in time to see the Black Widow emerge from inside the building, though right now I'm more interested in getting the script finished; revisions can come later).

Besides, returning the notion of more witnesses, I tried to make it clear that the warehouse district was almost entirely deserted at that time of night, meaning Max and Valerie Clawver were really the only people in the vicinity when the building blew up. Castorp and Ilsa are the only available witnesses because they're literally the only available witnesses, or at least this is how they present themselves; given the time of night, it's doubtful there was anyone else out and about who saw anything, so Feral considers the young couple coming forward at all a stroke of tremendously good luck.
EditorElohim wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 11:23 pm
On the other hand, Chance sometimes sounds a bit...insensitive when he talks about the fatalities, but I doubt he means it that way; he just takes it on better than Jake.
He's trying to be realistic and pragmatic about what it is they do and the risks they take, both to themselves and to others; but Chance being Chance means he's about as subtle and sensitive as a brick to the head. That's kind of the Chance Furlong way a lot of the time: open mouth, insert foot.
EditorElohim wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 11:23 pm
Anyway; that's about it. You're doing great: congratulations. RazorHappyCait
Thanks. Of the episode rewrites I've done, this one is intriguing me the most and is proving to be the most fun. Like The Giant Bacteria, it's always been an episode that I've liked in spite of its problems. What's making it a different experience from redoing that episode, though, is that while The Giant Bacteria's problems are subjective (one can like, dislike or feel utterly indifferent about the deaths of the farmer, the people on the subway train and Dr. Zyme), Razor's Edge's problems are objective (there's just no way Dark Kat's plan involving the fake old couple makes any sense and could've possibly worked; they would've been found out immediately upon the most cursory examination by medical professionals). So whereas I "fixed" The Giant Bacteria by simply making it more to my personal tastes (and did the same thing with Chaos in Crystal and The Doctors of Doom), this is the first one I feel I'm actually, truly fixing a fundamental problem with.
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Tue Aug 31, 2021 2:50 am

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - PATIENTS' ROOM

The elderly couple are lying in twin hospital beds facing a TV which is playing a game show. They're both in hospital gowns and snuggled under the blankets. We can see that the old woman's arm in is a cast.

HOST
(on T.V.)
And behind curtain number three is a year's supply of hairball eliminator!

A vapidly smiling VANNA WHITE-LIKE ASSISTANT gestures to the product onscreen. The old man, who has the remote, grumbles in irritation and starts channel surfing. His wife snores placidly beside him. The door opens. Pausing in his clicking, the old man turns as a NURSE enters. We can see an ENFORCER COMMANDO out in the hall on guard duty. The elderly couple are under police protection.

NURSE
Just checking in on you two. Is there anything you need?

ELDERLY MAN
Nah, thanks, honey. I'm fine. The wife's out like a light.

He gestures at the old lady. She snorts loudly in her sleep.

ELDERLY MAN
Unless the hospital's got a better cable package, there's nothin' else you can do for me.

He smiles good-naturedly, though his eyes are sad. The nurse nods.

NURSE
Well, I'll be right outside if you need me, and so will the guard.

She departs but leaves the door open a crack.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - LOBBY

Two more ENFORCER COMMANDOS are on guard duty down here. Another NURSE is sitting boredly behind the front desk. She's doing her nails and doing her best to ignore one of the more amorous of the commandos as he attempts unsuccessfully to flirt with her. This goes unnoticed by Sergeant Talon, who is standing at the other end of the lobby. The front door whooshes open and the young couple enter. They don't notice Talon but he notices them. He frowns, watching them head towards the elevators.

As they pass the front desk, the young woman catches one of the commandos' attention. He grins and whistles at her. She smirks, although her boyfriend glares daggers at the Enforcer. Taking her arm, he ushers her forward a little more rapidly. They get aboard the elevator. Talon walks over suspiciously as the door closes, wondering if he recognizes them. Then he notices the way his men are behaving.

TALON
(curtly)
Cut that out.

The two commandos jerk to attention, looking sheepish.

TALON
Keep your mind on your business.

He walks off.

EXT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Parking and getting off the Cyclotron, Razor removes a package from inside one of the vehicle's side storage compartments.

RAZOR
(muttering to himself)
Aw, Razor, what are you doing...? This is a bad idea. This entire hospital is crawling with Enforcers.

Tucking the bundle under his arm, he aims up with his Glovatrix and fires a grappling line up. Ir grabs the sill of the window in the old couple's room. Razor then tracts the cable and shoots up.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

The commando guarding the door fidgets impatiently. His walkie-talkie beeps and he answers it.

TALON
(through the radio)
Control to 4-9. Got a couple of suspicious characters who just got on the elevator down here. If they turn up on your floor, report to me immediately.

COMMANDO
(into the radio)
Yes sir.

He re-attaches the radio to his belt.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - PATIENTS' ROOM

Perching on the sill, Razor gingerly opens the window and climbs in behind the beds. Gently, he unwraps the package. A bouqet of flowers and a box of candy. Sensing him, the old man turns and starts, but doesn't yell for the guard. He merely looks shocked and gives a gasp. At this, his wife starts awake.

ELDERLY WOMAN
(snorting)
Huh? Wha--? Max, what's going on?

ELDERLY MAN
(angry)
It's one of those SWAT Kats who bombed that building!

Razor moves around to the foot of the beds, flowers and candy in hand.

ELDERLY WOMAN
It's your fault we're in here!

Her husband holds up a hand for silence. She shuts up. Razor looks so heart-wrenchingly pitiful that the old folks refrain from summoning the Enforcer guard a little bit longer, willing to hear him out if nothing else. Or at least the old man is.

RAZOR
(hesitant)
I... I came to apologize.
(getting more confident)
Despite what the news is saying, I swear we... I... didn't mean to hit that old warehouse on purpose. It was totally an accident.

The old man narrows his eyes.

ELDERLY MAN
Hmm...

He points at Razor.

ELDERLY MAN
And now you want us to forgive ya...?

RAZOR
(not daring to hope)
Well...

ELDERLY WOMAN
Forget it!

ELDERLY MAN
(angrily)
Valerie!

His wife shoots him an angry glare. He glares back, then turns to Razor.

ELDERLY MAN
You shouldn't have come here. You should go. This whole thing... it's just too recent for us. Too raw.

He jerks a thumb back at the open window.

ELDERLY MAN
Just get out. Go. We won't call the guard... but go now. And please don't come back.

Razor moves away, setting the flowers and candy on a bedside table. The commando at the door notices movement out of the corner of his eye through the cracked open door. He turns and eases the door open a little more, hefting his laser rifle.

COMMANDO
Everything okay in here?

The old lady starts to say something, but her husband shakes his head. She frowns but doesn't say anything. Razor is safely out of the Enforcer's line of sight.

ELDERLY MAN
Nothin', officer.

COMMANDO
(a little unconvinced)
Sure. Goodnight.

He exits, but leaves the door open a little further than the nurse did.

ELDERLY MAN
(quietly)
Now get lost. We won't call 'im off again.

Razor nods sadly.

RAZOR
Thanks for hearing me out, at least.

The elderly couple say nothing. Razor is in the middle of climbing out the window when the screen on the TV changes to show an emergency Kat's Eye News bulletin.

NEWSCASTER
(on TV)
We interrupt this program with a special bulletin!

Hesitating, Razor watches along with the old couple as somewhat grainy images of the modified Black Widow attacking a building that looks like a power station play onscreen. Surrounding the building are a cordon of Enforcer Peacekeeper tanks and halftracks with mounted laser howitzers. They fire up at the huge spider vehicle.

NEWSCASTER
(on TV)
These pictures are being broadcast live from a Megakat City electric substation, where the Enforcers are engaged in an all out war against the mysterious spider craft!

Razor hesitates.

RAZOR
I've got to help!

The old man frowns and rolls his eyes. His wife scoffs.

ELDERLY WOMAN
Go ahead, sonny. Hurt some more innocent bystanders.

RAZOR
(sadly)
You’re right, I still can’t risk it...

Her husband has had it.

ELDERLY MAN
Now, Val, there's no reason to provoke--

Suddenly the commando at the door comes back in, having heard the news bulletin. He wants to watch the TV. He notices Razor. Razor flinches and goes wide-eyed.

COMMANDO
Hey!

He points his gun at the SWAT Kat.

COMMANDO
Hold it!

Razor lifts his arms in surrender.

COMMANDO
Come on!

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

The commando backs up into the hallway with his rifle up. Razor follows, hands still raised. Motioning with the barrel of his weapon, the Enforcer makes Razor turn and stand with his back facing the other end of the hallway with ends a "T" junction near the stairs and elevators. We see the young couple poke their heads around the corner. Razor doesn't. All his attention is focused on the Enforcer currently arresting him. The commando gets on his radio.

COMMANDO
(into the radio)
4-9 to Control! You'll never believe what I've caught!

He grins triumphantly. Razor narrows his eyes at him. Suddenly, the commando's expression changes. Lowering the gun slightly and dropping the radio, which clatters to the floor, he runs at Razor. Reflexively, the thin SWAT Kat backs up, but the Enforcer isn't attacking him.

COMMANDO
Look out!

Grabbing Razor's shoulder, he propels him roughly to one aside against the wall as a laser blast flies back. We then see that the young woman has drawn her laser pistol and had fired at Razor. She and the Enforcer exchange laser fire as Razor crouches stunned against the far wall.

The commando gets hit in the shoulder. With a groan, he goes flying back to lie sprawled on the floor. He doesn't get up. However, he continues groaning aloud to let us know he's alive. Jerking up, Razor gasps as he recognizes the young couple. The woman fires at him with her gun. His Glovatrix extends its shield to deflect her blasts. Behind her, her boyfriend also draws a small laser pistol of his own.

At this point, a DOCTOR and the nurse from before walk around a corner. Seeing the Enforcer lying on the floor, they rush towards him, heedless of the laser fire. Razor yells over to them.

RAZOR
Get back!

Still keeping his shield up, he grabs them and bustles them into the old couple's room.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - PATIENTS' ROOM

The doctor and nurse are forced inside.

RAZOR
Keep the door shut and don't come out until it's safe!

The old couple exchange glances.

EXT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Callie Briggs' green sedan pulls up and stops. Callie gets out. She looks up at the building, then slams her car door and goes inside.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - LOBBY

The Enforcers are in alert mode. Talon is trying to raise the upstairs commando on the radio.

TALON
(into the radio)
Control to 4-9! Come on!

There's no answer. Callie heads for the elevator. Talon stops her.

TALON
Sorry, Deputy Mayor, but we have an emergency situation! I can't allow you to go upstairs!

As soon as he turns his attention back to trying to raise his man on the radio, though, Callie sneaks into the stairwell.

EXT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

Retracting his shield, Razor takes aim at the two villains.

RAZOR
Mini Turboblades!

The projectiles shoot forth and knock the guns from both hoods' hands. They gasp, then growl, and charge headlong at him. They begin using a variety of martial arts moves against him, all of which he either ducks, dodges of deflects. The woman throws a punch. Razor ducks and swings his own fist, which connects with her jaw. She goes flying back and smacks against the wall. Her boyfriend swings his leg. Razor catches his foot and twists it, flipping the guy. He thuds to the floor and lies there stunned.

Panting, Razor goes to the Enforcer commando on the floor and gets the handcuffs from his utility belt, using these to cuff the woman. Suddenly he's jumped from behind by the young man, who recovered quicker than he anticipated. He gets Razor in a headlock.

YOUNG MAN
Die!

RAZOR
(choked)
Why are you... ackkk... doing this?!

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - PATIENTS' ROOM

Those inside the room are watching the fight through the window in the door.

YOUNG MAN
(straining)
This was all a setup! We wanted to rattle your nerves! To destroy your self-confidence! And now I'm gonna destroy YOU!

The old couple look shocked. The woman covers her mouth.

EXT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

The struggle continues.

RAZOR
(choked)
But why...?!

YOUNG MAN
Our boss said to!

Razor manages to wrestle free and he delivers another punch to the hood's jaw. He goes reeling, but recovers, managing to remain standing. At this point, a bored-looking ORDERLY comes 'round the corner pushing an empty gurney. With a snarl, the young thug rushes at Razor and tackles him. They go flying and land on the gurney. With a yelp, the orderly leaps away and the wheeled platform goes shooting off down the hall uncontrollably with the two kats atop it punching, kicking and smacking one another. The young guy is on top, keeping Razor's Glovatrix arm pinned as he punches the sweating SWAT Kat repeatedly in the face.

As they progress down the hallwau, various PATIENTS emerge from their rooms to see what all the noise is, then leap back inside as the gurney shoots past. A JANITOR mopping the floor dodges aside as the gurney hits and overturns his bucket of dirty mop water. Still another NURSE, emerging from a room with a tray of little plastic cups filled with medication, jerks back with a shriek as Razor and his opponent go shooting past, the tray flipping up, sending pills flying every which way.

At the opposite end of the hall from the "T" junction is a room marked "Surgery." The gurnery smashes through the big swinging double doors.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - SURGERY DEPARTMENT

The startled TECHNICIAN and ORDERLY on duty jerk up from their seats as the gurnery flies past, passing behind a large "Kat-scan" X-ray screen. The technician grabs a telephone and presses a red button as the orderly watches the gurney passing behind the screen in front of them, awestruck at the sight of two skeletons punching one another.

TECHNICIAN
(into the phone)
Get me security!

The gurney continues on and barrels through another set of double doors marked "Operating Room - No Admittance."

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - OPERATING ROOM

The gurnery crashes into the operating table and overturns, dumping both opponents to the floor. They yell.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

Callie emerges from the stairwell and gasps as she sees the commando lying on the floor. Only one of the dropped laser pistols is in sight, though, because the recovered young woman thug, her wrists still cuffed, has grabbed the other one and is racing off down the hallway towards the surgery department. Grabbing both the male thug's weapon and the unconscious commando's laser rifle, Callie hurries off in pursuit.
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Wed Sep 01, 2021 2:54 am

The door to the old couple's room opens and the doctor and nurse peek out fearfully.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL - OPERATING ROOM

Razor lies groggily on the floor alongside the overturned turned. Hearing a whirring noise, he turns. The young man stands over over him wielding a huge bone saw. He rolls out of the way as it comes down in an arc, striking the floor where he had been lying mere seconds before, leaving a huge gash with sparks.

Razor scrambles to his feet. As the young man turns to swing again, Razor deftly leaps back. He kicks the bone saw out of the guy's hand and it goes flying away to land with a clank on the floor where it lies sputtering, the rotating blade eating a groove in the tile floor. Razor tries to raise his Glovatrix to fire, but the young man knocks his arm down and shoves him backwards. Staggering, Razor slams against the operating table, gasping as his attacker grabs a scalpel.

The young man leaps onto Razor, pinning his Glovatrix arm against the edge of the table. He jabs down with the scalpel but the thin SWAT Kat catches his wrist with his other hand, stopping the gleaming blade inches from his eyes. They struggle like this for several moments, Razor keeping the surgical instrument from plunging into his eye and his opponent keeping his Glovatrix pinned. Being on top and pushing down rather than on the bottom pushing up, the young man, grinning wildly, is slowly winning. The scalpel blade inches closer and closer to Razor's eye.

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT II

ACT III

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - OPERATING ROOM

The young man, grinning maniacally, still has Razor pinned against the edge of the operating table and is inching the deadly surgical blade closer and closer to the SWAT Kat's eye. Suddenly, Razor makes a calculated last second move, releasing his enemy's wrist. As the startled young man slices down with the blade, Razor jerks his head to the side and the scalpel stabs not into his face but into the cushioned surface of the operating table. Then Razor re-grabs the startled villain's wrist.

In his surprise, the young man loosens his grip on Razor's other arm, allowing him to wrench it free. His now freed Glovatrix arm flies up, fingers wrapping around his opponent's throat. The young man gags and Razor is able to flip him around so he is now the one pinned against the table.

Even as the young man tries to fumble for the scalpel and yank it free, Razor spots a tank of ether used to put patients under before an operation. Grabbing the clear plastic mask with a hose attached, he clamps it over the other kat's mouth and cranks the valve handle on the tank. There's a hiss. Reflexively, the young man inhales, and Razor leaps back, panting. With a gasp, the young man rips the mask off, pulls the scalpel free, and pushes himself off of the table to resume the fight... but his movements are sluggish. He squints, trying to focus. From his P.O.V., Razor looks blurry.

After a moment or two, he staggers forwards, then drops the scalpel and collapses to the floor face down. Razor nudges him over onto his back, aiming his Glovatrix down at him. He doesn't get up. His chest gently rises and falls. He's completely unconscious. Razor sighs in relief.

RAZOR
Nighty-nighty, pal.

YOUNG WOMAN
(O.S.)
Nighty-night, yourself!

Razor turns and glances back. His opponent's accomplice, the young woman, stands in the doorway. Despite the fact her wrists are handcuffed, she's holding her laser pistol, pointing it directly at Razor. She's got him dead to rights.

RAZOR
(sardonically)
I should've cuffed your hands behind your back...

YOUNG WOMAN
(smug)
The last mistake you'll ever make, SWAT Kat.

Suddenly, the double doors fly open. Callie leaps in, holding the Enforcer commando's laser rifle, the other villain's laser pistol jammed into her suit pocket. Startled, the young woman turns... and takes the butt of the commando's rifle to the jaw. She staggers back wildly towards Razor, managing to keep ahold of her gun. Managing to conceal his surprise at Callie's sudden appearance for the moment, Razor knocks the gun from the female thug's hand with a downwards karate chop, then punches her in the face. She staggers back over to Callie, who reels back her fist. Pow! The dazed female villain flies back to land sprawled alongside her boyfriend. She groans and lies still. Callie covers both of them with the Enforcer rifle.

RAZOR
(still managing to hide his surprise)
Thanks, Ms. Briggs. That was one in a million. If you hadn't shown up when you did, I would've been a goner.

CALLIE
Glad I got here in time.

She smiles.

CALLIE
I figured you'd come here. To talk to the old couple.

Razor nods and rubs the back of his head a little sheepishly. Irritated by the still whirring bone saw, he goes and unplugs it. The blade winds down. For a moment, the room is totally silent.

CALLIE
Listen, you need to get out of here. The downstairs lobby is crawling with Enforcers. Including that Sergeant who's always with Feral. He and his men will be up here any minute, and probably in a mood to cuff you first and ask questions later. And right now Megakat City really needs you up there in the Turbokat with T-Bone.

RAZOR
What about them?

He indicates the unconscious young couple.

CALLIE
(smirks)
I'll handle things and smooth things over with the Sergeant downstairs while you slip out.

RAZOR
(managing a grin)
Thanks again, Ms. Briggs!

He rushes out.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

As Razor rushes down the hall, the door to the elderly couple's room opens and the old man, walking with the aid of a crutch because his leg is in a cast, and supported by the doctor and the nurse, emerges. The injured Enforcer commando from before is now seen sitting up, dazed but okay and clutching his shot arm.

ELDERLY MAN
Hold up, SWAT Kat!

Razor pauses.

RAZOR
Make it quick, old timer. I gotta split.

Leaving the old man with the nurse, the doctor goes and begins tending to the hurt Enforcer.

ELDERLY MAN
(angry but emotional)
I still can't say I entirely support what it is you and your friend do. I think that you really ought to leave defending the city to the Enforcers. Most of the time, anyway. But this is one of those times when I think they can really use some help.
(calming down a bit)
And I suppose I forgive you for accidentally blowing up that building. I guess not everyone's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and accidents are unavoidable.
(manages a smile)
You SWAT Kats are the only ones who can defeat that spider thing. So hop to it. Get back out there and help your friend.
(pleading)
Save Megakat City.

Razor nods, gives him a thumbs-up, and hurries off.

EXT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - NIGHT

An Enforcer commando walking around the rear of the building finds the Cyclotron and gets on his radio.

COMMANDO #2
(into the radio)
3-7 to Control! I found the SWAT Kats' motorcycle parked behind the--

TALON
(through the radio)
Nevermind that, get inside right now!

COMMANDO #2
(into the radio)
Yes sir!

He rushes off. A moment later, Razor climbs down from above and gets on the bike. Firing it up, he speeds off into the night. Around front, Enforcer cruisers, sirens wailing, screech up to the front of the hospital.

INT. MEGAKAT MEMORIAL HOSPITAL - HALLWAY

Sergeant Talon, holding a laser rifle, leads several commandos down the hall towards the surgery area, when suddenly the doors open and Callie wheels the two unconscious hoodlums bound in surgical tape, strapped securely to the gurney. The Enforcers skid to a halt, blinking in surprise.

TALON
Ms. Briggs...!

CALLIE
Book these two!

Talon frowns.

TALON
On what charges?

CALLIE
For attempted murder.

The Sergeant turns and glances at the wounded commando being tended to by the doctor. The old man, the nurse stil helping him stand upright, staggers forwards, gesturing wildly with his crutch.

ELDERLY MAN
She's right! And that's not all! Everything these two have been sayin' on the news is a filthy lie! My wife and I heard everything!

The doctor and nurse chime in as well. Glowering, Talon turns, then nods to his men.

TALON
Take 'em.
(to Callie)
I'll take that.

He holds out his hand for the rifle, which Callie hands over, along with the laser pistol. She smiles and crosses her arms as the commandos come forward to get the gurney.

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - NIGHT

The newscaster's description of "all-out war" was quite apt. A defending cordon of Enforcer Peacekeeper tanks and halftracks with accompanying Enforcer commando support troops surrounds the substation, firing at the relentlessly approaching Black Widow. The blasts from the tanks' double-barrelled laser cannons and the huge laser-howitzers mounted on the halftracks either sail harmlessly past it or, when they do connect, seem to do nothing against the enormous vehicle's heavily armored hull. The fire from the commandos' rifles and shoulder-mounted rocket launchers do even less.

Inside the Black Widow, Dark Kat is seated in the now much larger forward control area. The chair is the same but the controls are different. He now drives the enormous vehicle with two levers on either side of the throne-like chair which he moves back and forth. An array of glowing computer monitors and control stations manned by the Creeplings is set a few feet ahead of and slightly below where he's sitting. The low, narrow viewport provides an unobstructed view of the substation ahead, getting ever nearer as the spider ship stomps closer and closer. The defending Enforcers are also visible, but Dark Kat is paying them no mind.

That job is reserved for the kommando-kats. In the enlarged rear area of the Black Widow (in the huge spiked metal "abdomen") is a narrow walkway lit from below. To either side are banks of control stations with swivel chairs bolted to the floor. In each chair sits a kommanto-kat. The silent, monkey-like underlings press various buttons and pulls various switches which control the huge vehicle's weapons. This include a top-mounted cannon that raises and lowers, similar in function to the original version of the vehicle's primary weapon which fires both lasers and artificial spider webbing, as well as various guns along the enormous metal spider's flanks. These pour laser fire down on the Enforcers, blasting tanks and halftracks to bits. Other vehicles are ground underfoot by the enormous metal feet.

A few choppers fly past, blasting away. No dice. They nimbly move to avoid the return fire. A supersonic roar fills the air. Enforcer jets swoop down and pummel the Black Widow with laser fire, bombs and missiles. Still nothing.

It soon becomes obvious that the fight to keep Dark Kat from reaching his goal is lost. Nevertheless, as the Black Widow moves past them, the Enforcer commandos pick themselves up and fire defiantly after it. The remaining tanks and halftracks likewise turn around to fire in that direction as well. It does nothing. The villains aren't even returning fire in defense anymore.

Dark Kat has reached his goal.

Grinning wickedly, he brings the vehicle to a halt and presses a button on the armrest of his chair. In addition to the eight segmented metal legs, jointed robotic pedipalps sit beside the decorative mandibles of the spider just below the cockpit viewport. These terminate in three-clawed "hands." When Dark Kat presses the button, the pedipalps jerk forward and grab the roof of the substation and jerk it upwards, ripping it free, lifting it cleanly away in one piece as one would take the lid off of a shoebox. The Enforcers gawk in astonishment.

The interior of the building is now exposed. Dark Kat signals to his Creeplings. Giggling, one of them pulls a switch. Two thin cables, similar to the manipulating pedipalps, ending in clawed grabbers, shoot forth and down into the power substation interior.

INT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - MAIN POWER PLANT AREA

There's nobody here. Everyone has been evacuated. The clawed cables snake down towards their target: the two electrodes of the big Kenneth Strickfadden-esque generator. They grab ahold of them.

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - NIGHT

The Creeplings continue giggling and flick more switches.

INT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - MAIN POWER PLANT AREA

The generator lights up. Electricity begins travelling from it up the cables towards the Black Widow towering outside, sending the substation's power into the spider craft like jumper cables. The entire Black Widow begins glowing with a red aura and shuddering.

DARK KAT
(V.O.)
Feed, my little Black Widow, feed! Just a sip for now. Whet your appetite!

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - NIGHT

To the astonishment of the watching Enforcers, the brightly glowing Black Widow begins to visibly increase in size. Before, it was only slightly taller than the building it just tore the roof off of. Now, it is double, then tripling in size, so that it is bigger than all the surrounding buildings. As this happens, the lights in the surrounding are begin to dim and go out. Equally astonished, but excited, is Dark Kat. He throws his arms up in gleeful triumph as the red glow from outside bathes the vehicle interior in a throbbing crimson.

DARK KAT
Energy into mass! It's working! I was right! Thank you, Katalytic Laboratories!

He laughs wickedly. Even the control room around him is getting larger. The Creeplings chitter excitedly.

EXT. SKIES OVER MEGAKAT CITY - NIGHT

The Turbokat is racing towards the scene. T-Bone is anxiously sitting in the cockpit. He's trying without success to raise Razor on the radio.

T-BONE
(into the radio)
Razor, come in!

No response. T-Bone growls.

T-BONE
(into the radio)
This is your partner calling!

Still nothing yet.

T-BONE
Ugh, what a time to go solo!

Ahead, he sees the huge spider craft surrounded by its crimson aura.

T-BONE
What in the--?

His eyes widen.

T-BONE
Aw, no! That ugly spider thing is even bigger now!

He shivers and begins pressing buttons on the auxilliary weapons panel before him.

T-BONE
Well, solo or not, it's up to me to squash this big metal bug before it causes any more problems!

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - NIGHT

He fires a few missiles at the Black Widow. These have about as much luch as everything the Enforcers just got done throwing at it, which is zilch. Refusing to give up, T-Bone continues unloading everything he can think of into the mechanical beast. Said beast turns from the gutted building, the clawed jumper cables detaching from the generator but not retracting just yet. Their tips still crackle with electricity. The pedipalps are still holding the torn off roof, and the Black Widow flings it at the approaching Turbokat.

T-BONE
(yelps)
Whoa!

He deftly dodges. The torn off substation roof sails past the jet and crashes to the street before, sending panicked CITIZENS fleeing in all directions. Glancing back to make sure no one was hurt or killed that he can see, a glowering T-Bone returns his attention to his enemy.

T-BONE
That the best you got, bug boy?!

This is heard by Dark Kat over his radio.

DARK KAT
(to himself)
No... this is!

He points to one of the Creeplings. It shrieks excitedly and pulls a switch. The jumper cables rise up like tentacles and from their tips fire bolts of electricity which strike the underside of the Turbokat, shorting out its electrical systems, sending T-Bone in a wild spin. Crackling with energy, he goes sailing past the Black Widow. Dark Kat laughs as he watches the jet go past.

T-BONE
Aghhh! What the? Power's out! Controls won’t respond!

He futzes with some switches.

T-BONE
Gotta switch to auxilliary power!

Back in the Black Widow, Dark Kat is extremely pleased with himself.

DARK KAT
The SWAT Kats are finished. Or soon will be. All that's left is to plug into the main electrical grid. Then the power to destroy Megakat City will be mine!

T-Bone manages to restore power to the jet and right himself before crashing. The crackling electrical aura around the Turbokat vanishes as it swoops around the gutted substation and flies back towards the Black Widow.

T-BONE
All right! I'm back in business!

Suddenly a voice comes over his radio.

DARK KAT
(through the radio)
Not for long, SWAT Kat!

T-Bone gasps.

T-BONE
Dark Kat! So... you're behind all this! I thought I recognized your ugly taste in that stupid bug thing's design!

DARK KAT
Insult me all you like! There's nothing you can do to stop me! Especially not without your partner!
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Fri Sep 03, 2021 7:22 pm

T-BONE
(muttering under his breath)
He's right... this Radical Squadron of one is no match for this thing!
(aloud)
We'll see about that, Dark Crud!

DARK KAT
(laughing)
When will you SWAT Kats find something new to call me?

As the Turbokat swoops past the Black Widow, the clawed cables shoot forth and grab the jet by the rear portion of its wings, clamping tight, puncturing the metal. In the cockpit, T-Bone is jerked forward.

T-BONE
Aghh...! What the--?

He struggles to break free.

T-BONE
Gotta... break... free!!!

Try as he might, though, no matter how much the jet's engines strain, they can't break free from the claws' grasp. The cables' tensile strength is far too strong! The Black Widow begins reeling the Turbokat in slowly.

DARK KAT
(smug)
Seems the spider has caught the fly!

T-BONE
(a little scared)
Razor, where are you when I--

He doesn't even complete the sentence. His radio crackles.

RAZOR
(through the radio)
Hey, Big Purple!

T-Bone's eyes go wide. In the Black Widow, Dark Kat is equally astonished.

DARK KAT
It can't be!

Buzz-Saw Missiles fly in from offscreen and hit the cables. They snap with a "twang!" The Turbokat, free, roars forward. Gasping, T-Bone turns and glances over his shoulder. Sure enough, in a street near the substation, Razor sits heroically aside the Cyclotron. The motorcycle's side and top missile pods are raised. The top one(s) are smoking.

RAZOR
Why don'tcha scuttle off and frighten Little Miss Muffett?

Dark Kat growls.

DARK KAT
Foolish, ignorant SWAT Kat! By all the powers of darkness, I swear you'll pay for this with your miserable life! But not yet...

Turning, the Black Widow ambles off, away from the power station.

EXT. STREET "A" - NIGHT

Citizens flee before the approach of the titanic spider craft as it heads down the street.

DARK KAT
...first, my sweet Black Widow will drink its fill at the main power grid!

He laughs evilly. The main Megakat Power Station can be seen in the distance.

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER SUBSTATION - NIGHT

T-Bone swoops around and puts the jet in VTOL mode. Retracting the missile pods into the Cyclotron, Razor vrooms over.

RAZOR
Miss me, buddy?

T-BONE
More than you'll ever know, Sureshot! Now get your tail up here! We've got a spider to squash!

The Turbokat turns and the bomb bay opens. Razor presses a button on the Cyclotron's handlebar and a jointed ski-like protrusion shoots out from underneath the cycle, allowing it to "sproing" up into the air and through the open bay doors, which slam shut after it. They've barely closed before the jet zooms off.

EXT. SKIES OVER MEGAKAT CITY - NIGHT

The Turbokat flies through the night sky, the buildings whizzing past below. In the cockpit, Razor pops up behind T-Bone. The big SWAT Kat is grinning from ear to ear, excited.

T-BONE
Glad to have you got your edge back!

RAZOR
Yeah, well, it occurred to me that a squadron consisting of only one guy was kinda dumb. If you're wondering what made me change my mind, y'see--

T-BONE
(cutting him off)
Save it, buddy! There'll be time for stories AFTER we've taken Dark Kat down! ... IF we take him down.

He points ahead.

T-BONE
He's headin' for the main power plant!

EXT. STREET "B" - NIGHT

The Black Window's enormous metal feet crush cars and trucks underfoot. The clawed pedipalps spitefully smash in the sides of buildings. The Enforcers continue harassing the vehicle as it ambles along. Commandos lean out the rolled down passenger side windows of their cruisers, firing away with their laser rifles. Choppers making strafing and bombing runs, pounding the spider craft with everything they've got. Jets occasionally swoop down and pelt the surface of the vehicle with laser fire and missiles. In the lead jet, we see Felina and her uncle. Commander Feral is sitting in back, while his niece is flying.

FERAL
Get me in close, Lieutenant!

FELINA
Roger!

The Ferals' jet zooms past the Black Widow and hits it with everything its got. None of it seems to be doing anything except make the vehicle rock harmlessly from the impacts. The SWAT Kats observe all of this from the approaching Turbokat as the wake of destruction left by the spider vehicle passes beneath them.

RAZOR
The Enforcers can't stop 'im!

The cruisers the Black Widow ignores for the most part. Dark Kat is content to just grind them underfoot. Their occupants barely leap free in time, scrambling aside to the sidewalks. As for the aerial threats, the kommando-kat crew fire back. More than a few choppers are blasted out of the sky or have their rotor blades gummed up with goopy webbing and drop to the streets or land on rooftops. The nimble jets are luckier; most of them avoid the spider mech's fire but at least two get hit. One spirals and crashes headlong into the side of a building, where it promptly explodes. The other, the Ferals', makes a crashlanding in the street.

EXT. STREET "C" - NIGHT

Feral and Felina's jet skids along the pavement, leaving a trail of sparks. The wings take the sideview mirrors of several parked cars off. After a moment, the aircraft comes to a halt. The canopy slides open. Commander Feral, wearing his helmet, hops out, drawing his laser pistol in a useless but defiant gesture. He walks around to the back of the jet, watching the Black Widow stomping towards them. He raies his gun as though to fire, then hears the sound of his niece grunting and groaning.

FELINA
(strained)
Uncle, help...!

Feral whirls, eyes wide. Felina can't seem to unbuckle her seatbelt.

FELINA
I'm stuck!

FERAL
(worried)
Felina!

Holstering his gun, he runs over. He struggles with the harness keeping her in the seat, but it won't budge.

FERAL
Curse this stupid thing!

In the approaching Black Widow, Dark Kat is positively gleeful.

DARK KAT
Farewell, Commander Feral!

The vehicle's weapons train down on the Ferals, who look up, shocked. The Turbokat swoops in to the rescue.

T-BONE
Gotta save Felina!

RAZOR
(reminding)
And her uncle!

T-BONE
(pretending not to care)
Yeah, yeah, him too!

Razor smirks and peppers the spider craft with missiles. Blam! The Black Widow is rocked. Dark Kat is almost thrown forward out of his seat, grabbing the armrests. The vehicle continues walking forward, one huge foot raising to crush the downed Enforcer jet. In a split second, both Ferals get the exact same idea, and their hands go for the lever which activates the ejector seat. Commander Feral staggers back as Felina shoots up in her seat to safety, right before the huge metal foot comes down and grinds the jet to pieces.

Lying on his back, Feral rolls over and watches the Black Widow continue on down the street, then gets up and scans the skies for his niece. He sighs with relief when he sees her coming down with her ejector seat's parachute deployed. She lands right next to him.

The Turbokat flies past overhead.

T-BONE
Well, they're okay. But we gotta stop that spider thing before it gobbles up all a' Megakat City's curds and whey.

RAZOR
(chuckles)
T-Bone, you're a poet and didn't know it.

T-BONE
Huh?

RAZOR
Nevermind.

Whoosh! The Turbokat continues on after Dark Kat.

Meanwhile, Felina cuts herself free of her harness using a combat knife.

FELINA
Uncle, did you see that? The SWAT Kats tried to help us!

FERAL
(stubborn)
Yes, but they failed! And we saved ourselves!

Felina is exasperated. Some cruisers come speeding up and Commander Feral flags them down.

FERAL
Besides, you don't need to convince me that those two numbskulls are innocent...

Deferring to their Commander, the two commandos in one of the cruisers he flagged down get out, allowing him and Felina to get it. They shut the doors and Feral, driving, speeds off, the other cruisers following, sirens wailing.

FERAL
...I've just received word from the hospital. It turns out those two supposed "eyewitnesses" were fakes!
(scoffs)
Briggs is crowing about it!

FELINA
I knew it!

Feral eyes her.

FELINA
I mean, we suspected as much.

FERAL
"We?"

FELINA
T-Bone and I. And the Deputy Mayor.

FERAL
Ordinarily I like forethought and initiative in my officers, Felina, but in the future please refrain from conducting investigations behind my back. Especially with people I don't like.

Felina just smiles. Her uncle smiles back.
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Sat Sep 04, 2021 4:48 am

EXT. STREET "C" - NIGHT

The Black Widow stomps along. More senseless destruction as screaming citizens run all directions. Directly ahead lies the main power station.

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER - NIGHT

The main Megakat Power building is a huge building with a big neon sign that reads "Megakat Power" perched on the roof. It sits by itself in the middle of a huge fenced-in lot. As before, the parking lot is visibly empty save for Enforcer vehicles (more Peacekeepers, cruisers and halftracks), the employees having been evacuated. Surrounding the building are huge metal "mega-transformer" towers. Powerlines snake out from these to the surrounding areas of the city.

As the Black Widow approaches, Enforcer commandos perched on the roof fire with their lasers. A well-placed shot from a red laser beam blows them backwards. They fly offscreen, screaming. The vehicle's enormous metal spider legs dwarf the defending Enforcer vehicles on the ground. Apart from two tanks and a halftrack that get ground underfoot, Dark Kat is completely ignoring them at this point. They stop firing and watch in awe as the seemingly unstoppable Black Widow approaches the building.

Even at this huge size, the spider craft is still dwarfed by the power plant. A combination of punches from the pedipals, kicks from the foremost legs and a few blasts from lasers makes a hole in the front of the structure large enough for Dark Kat to just walk right on through, which we does.

The Turbokat swiftly approaches the scene.

T-BONE
Good thing you severed his cables so he can't--

INT. MEGAKAT POWER - MAIN POWER PLANT AREA

The interior of this building is much the same as the substation from before, only way bigger. The Black Widow ambles up to the Strickfadden-esque generator. Grinning, Dark Kat flips a switch. The severed cables detach and new ones with fresh clawed "hands" shoot forth and grab the electrodes. This is witnessed from outside by the approaching SWAT Kats.

RAZOR
You had to jinx it, didn't ya, buddy...?

DARK KAT
A true mastermind always thinks ahead!

As before, the power being generated is converted into reddish evil energy that flows up the cables and envelopes the Black Widow. It begins to swell in size, growing larger and larger.

DARK KAT
Nothing can stop me now! The true night of the Dark Kat has begun!

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER - NIGHT

The lights in the surrounding buildings and beyond begin going out. The glowing "Megakat Power" sign dims and then goes dark.

EXT. MEGAKAT CITY - NIGHT

An overhead shot of the city reveals that lights are dimming for miles around, with Megakat Power as its epicenter!

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER - NIGHT

The gradual darkening of the city does not go unnoticed by the SWAT Kats.

RAZOR
Looks like Dark Kat's absorbing all the power from Megakat City! If he keeps this up, that spider thing of his will end being way too big even for us to deal with!

T-BONE
Then maybe we oughta cut 'im off!

RAZOR
Good idea!

INT. MEGAKAT POWER - MAIN POWER PLANT AREA

Still growing, the Black Widow's spiked back hits the ceiling...

EXT. MEGAKAT POWER - NIGHT

...and erupts through it! The "Megakat Power" sign falls and smashes to the ground and the entire building explodes in all directions in a cloud of dust and debris, revealing the now over one-hundred foot tall Black Widow! And it isn't showing any signs of stopping, still hooked up as it is to the electrodes.

The Turbokat swoops around. T-Bone points to one of the transformer towers.

T-BONE
We’ve got to cut his power source! Take out that mega-transformer tower!

RAZOR
Affirmative!

He flicks his target visor down.

T-BONE
(urgently)
You're only gonna get one shot, buddy...

RAZOR
(oozing confidence)
That's all I'm gonna need!

From his targeting visor's P.O.V., we see him line up a perfect shot with the transformer tower. Whoosh! Turboblades fly forwards and cut the tower's support struts. Sizzling and crackling, the tower teeters over, slowly at first, then gaining momentum, like a huge metal tree felled by a lumberjack. It smashes into the ground in a shower of sparks, the lines going from it to the other mega-transformer towers growing taut and, with a jerk, they too are pulled down. Soon most if not all of the towers surrounding the destroyed Megakat Power building have been taken out.

T-BONE
Now that's what I call cuttin' the power!

If Dark Kat is concerned about being prevented from draining ALL the power in the city, he isn't showing it. In fact, in his now even larger control room aboard his spider craft, he is positively ecstatic.

DARK KAT
You foolish SWAT Kats think you've stopped me? I already have all the energy I need to destroy Megakat City! Now watch as I pound this city into dust! I'll head for the nearest populated area with the highest visibility!

Turning, the spider craft walks away from the smoking ruins of Megakat Power. The Turbokat follows.

T-BONE
Razor, we've got to do something!

EXT. SRTEET "D" - NIGHT

The Black Widow makes the surrounding buildings shake as it passes. More shots of citizens running screaming in terror. This is seen in a shot over the shoulders of the Creeplings sitting at the front consoles of the cockpit/bridge area, rather like the OTS shot of General Veers and his pilots inside the Imperial walker in "The Empire Strikes Back" when they're routing the Rebels. Dark Kat spies something ahead that arrests his attention.

DARK KAT
Yes! Dead ahead!

He points.

DARK KAT
I'll cow the cringing citizens of this town into becoming my obedient subjects by destroying Megakat Park!

EXT. MEGAKAT PARK - NIGHT

The Black Widow enters the park, a vast expanse of gently rolling hills, stone pathways laid down with a lot of respect to the contours of the land, and tall oak trees. There's a huge lake in the middle, complete with a marina and several docks with moored speedboats and yachts. Megakat Park looks like the perfect place to bring the family for a picnic. Not tonight, though.

RAZOR
(O.S.)
He’s heading through Megakat Park!

He and T-Bone watch from their cockpit as the monstrous Black Widow leaves huge footprints at least six feet deep, and grinds trees and childrens' rides underfoot. In particular, we focus on its huge metal foot coming down on and crushing a merry-go-round. Fortunately, there's no kids on it. Or anyone anywhere else in the park at this time of night. Razor nevertheless winces and growls at the merry-go-round's obliteration, then glances around in desperation, spying the lake in the middle of the park. He looks back and forth between it and the Black Widow, realizing that the spider ship's path is going to take it past the lake. Grinning, he flips his target visor up.

RAZOR
I've got an idea!
Last edited by Kooshmeister on Sat Sep 04, 2021 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by marklungo » Sat Sep 04, 2021 9:12 pm

More impressive work, Koosh! Act III is a real rollercoaster. As for the typo roundup:

"A tue mastermind always things ahead!"

EXT. STEET "D" - NIGHT
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Sun Sep 05, 2021 1:37 am

Fixed! RazorHappyCait
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Re: Razor's Edge: Fan Script

Post by Kooshmeister » Mon Nov 15, 2021 1:28 pm

As the Black Widow trudges along, the Turbokat swoops down towards it. Dark Kat frowns, watching its approach on the screen in front of him.

DARK KAT
(over his shoulder)
Put the SWAT Kats out of my misery!

Kommando-kats press buttons. The swivel gun emerges from the top of the craft and opens fire, but T-Bone expertly dodges every single blast. Flicking some switches, Razor unleashes a barrage of Plain Old Missiles (complete with "From Razor with Love!" stenciled on them). They explode all over the Black Widow's back, and though the vehicle lurches, it doesn't fall. Inside, the villain and his followers are rocked by the explosions, but manage to remain in their seats. The Creeplings flap their wings and screech indignantly.

DARK KAT
(laughs)
Do those fools really think my Black Widow can be felled by their puny missiles?

T-BONE
Dang, that thing must have some shock absorbers!

RAZOR
Count on it, buddy. It's too much to hope for that the impact of the landing shook Big Purple to jelly.
(grins)
Which brings me to my idea.

T-BONE
Whaddaya mean?

RAZOR
The legs are designed to take all the shock, but what about the body?

The Turbokat flies past the Black Widow, circling around. It comes back around behind Dark Kat's vehicle as it nears the lake. Razor lowers his targeting visor. As the big gun atop the spider craft swivels around to take aim at the jet, Razor targets not the Black Widow itself but the ground underneath it and fires another missile. As the villains fire, T-Bone dodging expertly in midair, the missile whooshes under the spider and hits the ground, exploding. There's an enormous cloud of fire and smoke. The Turbokat zooms past it, dissipating it, revealing that the Black Widow has fallen into a massive crater belly-first. It sits awkwardly, unmoving. Inside, Dark Kat has been thrown from his seat and lies splayed on the floor, a Creepling atop him. He sits up, groaning.

DARK KAT
How undignified!
(growls)
Get off of me!

He throws the Creepling aside.

DARK KAT
(yelling at the kommando-kats)
Get us back up! Hurry!

Watching from the Turbokat, Razor cheers.

RAZOR
Bingo! Just like I hoped! The spider legs absorb all the shock, but without them, the force of the impact is transferred into the main body!

T-BONE
Thanks for the physics lesson, pal, but if that was your big plan to stop Dark Kat...

He points. The Black Widow is slowly lurching to its feet.

T-BONE
...I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that thing's standin' back up! Or trying to, anyway!

RAZOR
That was only Phase 1!

T-BONE
What's Phase 2? We board that thing and put our fists in Big Purple's ugly mug?

RAZOR
Nope! Launching Groundhog Missiles!

Two Groundhog Missile deploy from the jet and fly towards the lake. Their front ends pop off and revealing rapidly rotating digging mechanisms. They splash into the shallow water and skim along its surface towards the shore.

T-BONE
(confused)
Huh? Wha--?

RAZOR
Trust me, T-Bone.

T-Bone relaxes, smiling.

T-BONE
Always, buddy.

The Groundhogs hit the shore and dig through it, towards the cratered Black Widow ahead, leaving a deep trench behind themselves, into which the lake's water pours, following them. Reaching the crater, the Ground Missiles pass through it and continue on, as the water gushes into the huge hole. The Black Widow now stands fully erect. Within moments, the spider craft is ankle-deep in water.

T-BONE
If your plan was to short that thing out, it ain't...

He trails off, glancing back at Razor. A meaningful look passes between them.

T-BONE
I trust you.

He questions Razor no more. Grinning, Razor flicks another switch on his control panel.

RAZOR
Now it's time for Phase 3! Drillbit Missiles... away!

The missiles zoom down towards the Black Widow. Their pointy-tipped front ends fall away revealing rotating diamond-tipped drill heads. These bore into one of the huge vehicle's spider legs. Water begins flooding into the hole. An interior shot of the leg shows the wires sparking and sputtering. In the control area above, Dark Kat is uncharacteristically freaking out, eyes wide as he hauls himself up into his command chair. Alarms are blaring, warning messages flashing on his screens.

DARK KAT
No! Nooooooooo!

Electricity sparks and sizzles, arcing across his control panel. He turns in his chair and rises, fleeing as the instruments explode violently, blowing the chair he'd been sitting in seconds before to bits. The Creeplings aren't as quick, screaming as the explosion engulfs them and sends them flying through the air. More panels and screens begin exploding as the panicking kommando-kats finally let us hear their voices - panicky yelling and screaming. The Black Widow shudders, then the "head" section blows up and with a great groan of rending, straining metal, the spider vehicle slowly teeters to the right and falls over onto its side with a mighty crash. Timber!

Sirens wailing, Enforcer cruisers pour into the park, accompanied by Peacekeeper tanks and several troop carriers.

Watching from the Turbokat, Razor is immensely satisfied.

RAZOR
To be honest, Phase 3 was a last minute addition... I kinda hoped the outside wasn't waterproof. But when nothing happened I decided to see if the inside was. I guess it wasn't.

T-BONE
Not to slip back into not-trusting-ya mode, but--

RAZOR
What would I have done if the inside had been waterproof? No idea. But I would've thought of something. Or you would've. We always do.

T-BONE
(frowns)
That's a dangerous attitude to have...

RAZOR
(frowns)
Come on, buddy, don't harsh my good mood.

T-BONE
(manages a smile)
Okay. So... now what?

RAZOR
(grins hugely)
Now we go aboard that thing and plant our fists in Dark Kat's ugly mug!!!
1 x
R.I.P. Gary Owens (1936-2015)

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